“How do I get my partner to stop waking me up?”
“How can I wake up without waking up my partner?”
A survey in 2001 found that 12% of married couples sleep alone, and in 2017 a National Sleep Foundation survey found that 1 in 4 married couples slept in separate beds.
Having sleep issues could put a burden on some relationships. Couples might find that their personal morning routines are disturbing each other’s sleep, which could interrupt their sleep quality and impact their mood. Luckily there are a few things and easy adjustments that can be done to improve your morning relationships.
Couples with different morning routines or sleep habits
Couples as individuals have a lot of different habits. They aren’t always compatible; some of us wake up way earlier than our partners. Some of our partners press the snooze button a few too many times.
Others snore, others wake up to the others’ alarm, but a lot of these issues come down to incompatible morning routines and habits.
Some common sleep problems that were noted for couples were:
- Waking up to their alarm
- Different sleeping positions
- Different sleep schedules
- Sheet or mattress textures
- Tossing and turning
- Getting up in the middle of the night
- The size of the bed
- Sleeping with children or pets
- Going to bed angry
Tossing and turning, or having restless leg syndrome could easily wake up someone who is sensitive to movement. Someone’s snoring might be disruptive for someone who’s a light sleeper.
It won’t be great for your sleep quality if your partner is waking you up unintentionally, whether in the morning or in the middle of the night. Losing sleep could also take a toll on your mood and your energy, particularly if your partner’s alarm is waking you up earlier than you want to be up.
A survey also found that losing sleep was linked to more frequent fighting between couples. This makes sense, especially if being unceremoniously woken up in the morning can be disgruntling and affect your mood.
There are even studies about the link between sleep and your relationship quality. Because sleeping together is such a fundamental part of a lot of couples’ relationships, being able to share a bed and space with your partner can have an effect on your overall relationship.
Loud alarms aren’t good for your relationships
Read more: Loud Alarms are Terrible For Healthy Sleep
Unsurprisingly, waking up to each others’ alarms is one of the most disruptive things that can affect your morning relationships with your partner.
Waking up with different morning routines might mean interrupting your partner before they’re ready to wake up. Especially if it’s a loud alarm that jolts them out of sleep, it could be hard to try to go back to sleep. Over time, this could be a strain in the morning if one of you is losing sleep.
Sometimes one person in a couple is a night owl while the other is a morning person. Your morning routines might be very different which could cause some issues with waking each other up. Morning people generally wake up easily in the morning, often early, and are ready to start their day. But for a night owl who has stayed up late and is used to getting up a little later, this isn’t as easy. Throw in a loud alarm that disrupts your entire sleep environment, and it’s not a pleasant way to wake up.
Dealing with different sleep schedules
For morning people who like to be up early, they can make adjustments to try to be quieter in the morning so that they don’t disturb anyone still sleeping in.
For evening people, being careful when going to bed is important to not wake up their partner.
It can be easy to compromise with the habits of a morning person and an evening person. Whether they wake up at different times, or someone wants to cuddle, have sex, or adjust their sleeping position, there are a a number of ways couples try to adapt to each’s needs.
You can improve morning relationships easily
The mornings are an intimate time for many couples. They’re the first person you see when you wake up; it’s a time to physically and mentally be with each other before you go about your days.
Many couples don’t want to sleep in separate beds or rooms (a “sleep divorce”) because they fear that it means an end to intimacy. However if your personal habits are causing a strain in your morning relationships- whether it be conflicting schedules, loud alarms, or overall incompatible sleep habits- there are ways to help each other out and make adjustments.
Make personal adjustments to your sleep environment that don’t affect the other person too much.
There are a few things you can do to make some easy changes.
Get a bigger bed- or change your mattress (one that doesn’t transmit motion).
More room means more personal space if motion is what’s making you wake each other up. It can also help improve your quality of sleep.
Use earplugs or eyemasks
These can be quick solutions if one of you is a snorer or tends to keep the light on late at night in the same room. You can find comfortable options for you online. There are even noise cancelling earphones!
Talk to each other about it.
It’s important to communicate. Talking openly about your needs and being able to work something out together can be a big step to working out specific things you two can agree upon.
Changing your alarm is one of the best things you can do for your partner
Most of us wake up to alarms to make sure we get up on time, but not all of us have the same morning schedule. Silent alarms are one of the least disruptive types of alarms that would be beneficial to both you and your partner.
VibeRise is the coolest, most beneficial alarm
Studies on the negative effects of waking up to loud noises show that they raise your cortisol levels and use stress to wake you up. Loud alarms can wake you up from deep phases of sleep. Waking up abruptly from deep sleep can cause sleep inertia (morning grogginess).
That means not just you but your partner as well are jolted awake by loud alarms, compromising your sleep quality and morning mood & energy.
VibeRise is both easy to use and built to improve many different kinds of sleep situations. From shared spaces to heavy sleepers, we want everyone to be able to wake up feeling well-rested & make healthier sleep habits easier.
You can check out how to protect both your sleep and your partner’s on Indiegogo.